I cannot be all things to all people...

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength" Phil. 4:13

So, maybe it's just me...but since I was very young it has been my desire to make things good in people's lives. I was the happy one, the helpful one, the never have a bad day one so that you could cry on my shoulder and I could help you one....
Then High School came...and wow...Drama, guys and girl issues came...teen issues swelled all around me...and that cheerful dimeanor intensified...now I was a professing, born again Christian...so I HAD To be all things to all people...
For a while it worked...but then I would crash...tired, wasted, emotionally spent...becauase I had taken in everyone's pain, burden's, frustrations, etc...you name it, I took it to help them, to love them, to lighten their load...because that is what a Christian is supposed to do.....right?
Then College...CRASH! God brought into my life these "Christians" and just like I warn, caution, plead with my teen each year as I send them off to college...to watch and pray...because just because you think you are standing on solid ground in high school....does not mean college has the same ground...you are walking into sinking sand of all sorts...even in Christian college's...there is no safe place...
So, even though I didn't give into the "worlds" temptations that college life has to offer, partying etc...my spiritual life diffused...even though I went Cru...my heart was not in it...because sadly..I met these "christians" in Cru...and slowly drifted away...
My mindset became more and more like theirs...self absorbed...it was like I morphed into a different person...not a "bad" person...but someone I would look at and ask myself..."Who are you?" "Why are you becoming this?" "For who?" "For what?" My answer..."well they are Christians"
After a year...God woke me up...and set me free from that selfish mind set...
I have often told people that when I turned 30, it was the worst year and the best year of my life.
Worst...because God brought me to a place of complete and absolute dependance on Him and Him alone. He stripped everything I held dear to me...even my beloved husband could reach the pain I felt inside me...only my Jesus could...and after 4 long years of wrestling and struggling with Lord...His freedom gave way...and sent us on to a new mission in life...Cavalier...
I love it here...I love all the people I am able to engage with everyday...
Recently there has been much spiritual warfare I have been dealing with...I have been watchful and victorious...and I see things come my way...God has kept me alert and ready...
But as I settled into the victories...well...I settled in...and whenever we settle for anything...we begin to settle...and we begin to lose focus...
Which is what has happened to me these last 2 weeks...and today it all came to a head...
Oh Jesus...WHY!! WHY DO I DO THIS!!! Why do I let life take me away from your amazing place of safety and protection? What could possibly ever be as satisfying as You...I have allowed every kind of busyness to steal my joy...
Forgive me Father...forgive me...I am tired and weary...and I need Your refuge, Your peace, Your shelter...Your arms wrapped around me again...my love for you is so sweet and overwhelming...Oh God the ache of Your heart for the people that surround me here is too much at times...help me to know that is not me who can be all things for them...but that as I walk with you...not running ahead of you...but along side you...is when we can do the greatest things in others lives and in mine...
For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength if I follow your lead...and not try to be You...that...is....just too tiring for any human to carry...
Thank you Lord for listening and forgiving me...

The hunger in our eyes...

"You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body."

— C.S. Lewis

Today, Troy and I had the privelege of haning out with a former youth. He has just finished his first year of college, and I got to see that look that I long to see in all the teens that either sit in the chairs on Wedbesday nights, the look I long to see when I have one on one time with a teen, the look I long to see in the teens that have graduated and moved on, the look I long to see in eyes of any believer I spend time with.

The look of, "I am so in love with Jesus that it hurts. I am so in love with Jesus that I cannot stop talking about Him, I am so in love with Jesus that I cannot learn enough about Him, I am so in love with Jesus that,

I need Him-period- He is my everything! So, the question now is, how do I deal with this life, a life of normal living, of everyday tasks, this world's pressures and demands...pleasures and distractions...when all I want is Jesus..."

This quote hits in right on the head...yet we live as though it is the other way around...that we are all about the body...and not about our souls. Yet it is our souls that will continue into the next and not our bodies.

This world SCREAMS--"LISTEN TO ME! WHAT I HAVE FAR OUTWAYS ANYTHING OR ANY OTHER"

Calendars, date books, cell phone scheduled appt. reminders, alarms, email notifications of reminders---

"OF WHAT MUST BE DONE!!!"

Our bodies ache of exhaustion as we toil and sweat and beat our mind, body and spirit to be "this worlds" human body...and all that comes with it. This award, this scholarship, this recommendation, this raise, this promotion, this...this...this...and our bodies simultaneously are dieing...yet this is all we can think of.

Our enjoyments!
Our successes!
Our desires!
Our feelings!
Our accomplishments!
Our....well...you can fill in the blank from here on out...

So, again the question being...how do we live passionately for Christ with all these demands and distractions? Do we throw off all cares and run like the wind and be completely carefree? No, even the Lord Himself cautions us not live like this. He has given us a call in this life, gifts to use, people to reach whatever our occupation may be.

And so He tells us this, "but in everything prayer..."

" 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Phil. 4

My heart feels the same as this young man...the struggle of just wanting to be with Jesus..to spend all my days surrounded by those who are passionate about the Lord, sharing, praying, worshipping, singing, serving along side them...just for Him...and nothing else...

That is the quest of our maturing...living this life that the Lord has called us to serve Him in...without messing it up with our own agenda's, without filling it up with "this world's stuff for the bodies enjoyment."

Rather filling our souls for eternity's everlasting joy's!

What are you filling your life with? Things that will make your "bodily form" happy...or...as Matt. 6 warns,

"19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."

Oh for the day that all Christians will actually take the bible seriously...

God Bless